“What about loyalty and appreciation?”
Umar Ibn Al-Khattab (R.A) said to a man who was thinking of divorcing his wife:
“Why do you want to divorce her?”
He said, “I do not love her.”
‘Umar said, “Must every house be built on love? What about loyalty and appreciation?”
[Al-Bayan wa at-Tabayeen, 2/101]
Hazrat Umar ibn al-Khattab (R.A) was telling this to a man who wanted to leave his wife of 45 years because she had become old and he did not feel anything for her. So Hazrat Umar ibn al-Khattab (R.A) Was reminding her about all the years she spent with him lost her youth and beauty in raising his children csring for his house and him.
So before you Toss her out, remember how guilty you are.
When you first met your wife, she was the most beautiful woman. You called her your Queen, your darling, your baby, your sweet heart. Soon, you got married, life was good. You loved each other so much. Then sudden he got pregnant, sudden her looks began to change, from a beauty queen to something else. Her face and legs swelled. She loses her shape and figures. After she put to bed, she started to breastfeed your child, her tummy protrudes. She looks like she is in her 60s or 70s.
Now, Instead of you to help her repair herself body, improve her beauty, get rid of that tummy and swelling, you simply abandon her. You dislike her looks. You some times hate to see her. Suddenly your darling become get out of my face, or I don’t want to see you. So problems starts. You start to creates problems that don’t exist. You make every thing a big deal. Then you start to see other women.
What anyone must understand is that a woman is like a Car. When you purchase a Car, after sometimes, you need to repair it, sometimes you service the engine, sometimes you change some parts with new parts. All in order to enjoy driving it and to live longer.
Likewise a woman. She cooked for you for years, dresses you for years, conceive for you for years, breastfeed your child until her beautiful breasts collapse. Now both you and your children have drained and exhausted her. So what should you do? You repair her. Take her to place where people are fixed after their delivery. Give her money to collect those post pregnancy therapies. Buy good cosmetics and body creams for her. Buy new jewelries, buy new cloths. Make her comfortable. Take her out time to time. That's how you fix her.
but Instead, as soon as she begin to get tired, most men starts shopping for another woman they want to marry again or hang out with.
Brother, the problem is not your wife, the problem is you. Even if you marry 100 women, they will also deteriorate because that's the nature of life. Everything deteriorates with time. I’m sure if many men were to take good care of their wives, their wives will last longer, their body and shape will remain intact.
You must make sure she is the happiest woman. Make sure she gets what she wants. Try to make sure she is not depressed. Because depression and sadness can destroy women. She deserves it, because you took her away from her parents. Took over that responsibility the very day she's married.
Please be just in your house even if you have 4 of them. And Take care of them. They need it, and that's the only way you can have peace. May Allah SWT bless all our marriages.
Edited
A.A, ADEYEYE
adeyeyeabass.aa@gmail.com
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